Well I've been out of the picture for quite a while now. Just too busy and getting busier. Here is the link to Edition 2 of my groundbreaking book, Eliminate Your Fear: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/eliminate-your-fear/985342

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has just gone by and we've probably done the dutiful visit like always. I got an email which made me realise we don't need to wait for 'special' days to make someone feel special.

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would Love to spend some time with you.'

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded 'just the two of us.' She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting.'

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half-way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded. During the dinner , we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if
you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me.

'I love you, son'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I love YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till some 'other' time.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first... somebody doesn't have two or more children.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery....somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten... or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'

Somebody said a Mother can stop worrying after her child gets married... somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home... somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her... somebody isn't a mother.

Pass this along to all the GREAT 'mothers' in your life and to everyone who ever had a mother.

This isn't just about being a mother; it's about appreciating the people in your lives while you have them... no matter who that person is!

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes...
your destiny.

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle'.

Swimming to slim

Swimming is great all over exercise but may not be the best for slimming. Researchers at the Unoversity of Florida had subjects exercise on a static bike under water for 45 minutes, first in water at 20 degrees C, then after a 45 minute rest, in water at 33 degrees C.

After each session they spent time in a room full of food without being told their calorie intake would be monitored.

After exercising in the cold water the subjects ate 44% more calories than after the warm water exercise and 41% more than after just resting.

So it would seem that body temperature affects your post-exercise appetite. Swim by all means but get into some warmer exercise before finishing your workout.

Mind over body

It’s long been known that there is a thing called the Placebo Effect where if you believe you are getting medication when you are actually getting a sugar pill — your body can sometimes respond as if the medicine is actually working. Recent research suggests if you believe you are exercising, your body may respond as if it is. Read more in this article “Can Your Thoughts Affect Your Weight? “ by Alix Spiegel

Diet for men (a joke)

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he fi nally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."

He lost 63 pounds that week.

Heavier weights to build muscle

Thanks for the comment Kimberley (see How To Get Rid Of Flabby Arms Jan 24). Yes you are absolutely correct. Heavy weights do need to be used if you want to build muscle.

Toning that underarm flab, like any part of the body, requires two things: an overall approach to reducing excess body fat rather than a spot reducing approach - which won't work of course.

The second thing is the right exercise to strengthen and build those underarm muscles. Light weights are great to start with so you don't get sore or strain muscles that aren't used to work. But it is essential to gradually increase the weight so that those muscles are working progressively harder and growing stronger.

Also ladies don't worry about getting big musclely arms. They are a lot of hard work.

Doing lots of these exercises with really light weights may help a little to start with but you'll mainly be working those red slow twitch endurance muscle fibres. These are the ones endurance athletes work most and they generally don't have huge muscle size.

So the heavier weights are better for working the fast twitch fibres which become bigger over time. They fatigue more quickly, that's why you won't be doing as many repetitions with the heavier weights.

And it's also a good idea to work the whole body, not just the triceps group, otherwise your training regime and your musculature will be out of balance.

It's how you see it

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Using mind to build muscle

I've always believed in the power of visualization and now breakthrough research in the field of exercise physiology has yielded stunning revelations about the way we get fit. The big surprise, though, is not what we "have" to do, but what we might "not" have to do.

Our thoughts can literally redefine the size, shape and strength of our bodies.
Read this interesting article by Jonathan Fields (Source: JonathanFields.com) on how imaginary workouts can build strength and fuel weight loss.

http://www.mindpowernews.com/ImaginaryWorkout.htm

How To Get Rid Of Flabby Arms

You won't want to hear this but the first priority is to reduce the body fat overall.

Now, in order for that flabby area under your arm to become tone, you'll need to build the triceps muscles in the back of the arm. There are several good exercises you can do to build up that area.

Some of the more common and better exercises you can do for the back of the arms are * Weighted dips * Close grip bench presses * Close grip push ups * Lying barbell French presses * Overhead cable extensions * Cable press downs * Reverse cable press downs

Combining these exercises with a good all round fat reduction program of diet factors and high intensity interval training will see those flabby arms tone up nicely. And the bonus will be...

So will the rest of your body.

Tone your legs

Even the busiest people have many idle moments in their day. With a little thought you can get more value out of that time rather than accepting it as lost time.

Here are 3 tips to firm and tone your legs during idle moments.

Increase your walking speed by taking longer strides rather than shorter, quicker steps. When you lengthen your pace you use more of your thigh and hip muscles.

In the theater, on a bus, or during meetings, sit with your lower back against the chair and press your legs tightly together as if they were one for as long as possible. Cross them at the ankles and try to pull them apart. Again with the ankles crossed push the top leg down as the other one pushes up. Then swap legs so the other one is on top.

These are all simple isometric exercises which can be done in otherwise idle moments without any equipment or anyone even noticing.

Swap it around

People often ask, "What's the best weight routine to use?"

Answer: There is none.

Okay, sure, some are better than others maybe, depending. God what sort of an answer is that!!!

The fact is there's an infinite number of routines you could do and there's hundreds of exercises and variations on how they can be put together. Fast, slow, super slow, one rep max, heavy, light, high rep, low rep, ascending, descending, matrix... the list goes on.

Just make sure you keep changing what you do to keep your body from adapting to whatever you're doing.

Let's say you are training your back, biceps, forearms and abs on Friday. Instead of always doing them in that order, why not train your abs, forearms, biceps, and back (in the opposite sequence).

Yeah I know they say work the big muscle groups first. That's good but you can occasionally switch everything upside down. This will ensure that the smaller muscles get an opportunity to train first in the week when your body is the most fresh.

There are plenty of ways to mix it up. This is only one. Keep your body guessing what's next.

A Christmas gift for you

Until 26th December I have reduced the price of my book Eliminate Your Fear to only $12.95. You can get it at http://www.lulu.com/content/985342

What better gift could there be than to find out how to reduce, manage and even eliminate fear in your life.

What’s normal

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

You're not alone you know.

In counseling you soon realize that a lot of people seem to have it all together on the outside, but on the inside it is a different story.

I remember days when I was a school principal when I felt filled with dread going to school. I never got physically sick because I can't stand throwing up, but I had colleagues who actually did throw up from fear.

Yet they, like me, appeared 'normal' and functional to people around them.

One of my colleagues at a school down the road from mine seemed to have it together pretty well. We used to share similar grievances about work and life on occasions we'd get together, know we were in the same boat, and feel not so alone. Until he hung himself in the schoolhouse he lived in.

What a shock. He didn't have it together as much as we all thought.

So next time you see someone who's normal, or even some one who's a bit off the rails, take a moment to wonder what their world could be like on the inside. You might find yourself changing – becoming more 'normal' perhaps.

Ho Ho Ho

Recently a Santa was fired for saying ho ho ho as it was offensive to the local ladies of the night. This is so ridiculous there must have been more to it than we were told. Anyway when I'm playing the Santa role I say it more than ever now.

Here I am with a special little girl.

Finding victory in little things

Do your dreams seem far away? Does the distance between you and the finish line deflate your motivation?

Did Hilary and Tenseng climb Mt Everest in on step or even in one day?

Often we forget that goals and dreams are not achieved overnight, but rather in a series of small steps. Any progress towards your goals should also be counted as victorious!

Remember life is not a destination but a journey. Stop looking at the end result to bring you the greatest joy. Enjoy everything you can along the way. Celebrate the ways, however small, in which your life is gravitating towards that desired result.
Nothing is guaranteed in life, so make the most of each day and persevere. Remember that the small things in life build up to the bigger ones.

Get up and win

Here is a great poem by Dee Groberg which has been made into a short inspirational movie by Mac Andersen from SimpleTruths.com. Watch The Race movie.

The Race

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten...
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Turkey Time

With Thanksgiving comes the feast on turkey.

I heard somewhere that eating turkey makes you unusually drowsy and wondered if it was true or merely an urban legend. In otherwords, is there actually something in turkey that causes sleepiness?

Well turkey does contain tryptophan, which is an amino acid that is a natural sedative, but in order to produce drowsiness there must be no protein present and tryptophan must be taken on an empty stomach. Since turkey obviously has protein, the tryptophan in it is not likely to make you nod off.

Furthermore, the amount of tryptophan you consumed even during a huge Thanksgiving feast is too small to make a significant difference. Beef and soybeans contain more tryptophan than turkey as well.

I reckon people feel so tired after Thanksgiving dinner because they've just gorged themselves on a huge meal, probably had an excess of carbohydrates as well and imbibed a little alcohol to wash it all down.

Quote

"A healthy body and soul come from an unencumbered mind and
body." - Ymber Delecto

Fat Attack Massage Oils

I love having a massage don't you? They are excellent after workouts. Apart from the health benefits of improved blood circulation and lymph drainage and so on... they just feeeel soooo good.

Now I have heard tell that massage can even help break up fat. I'm still on the fence on this one but here is a massage oil that's supposed to break up fat. Maybe you'd like to try it out.

Combine:

30 drops of essential oils blend
2 tablespoons of almond oil
10 drops of carrot oil

Blend the almond and carrot oil together before blending in the essential oils. Rub it on your stomach, hips and thighs in a circular motion ( or better still get someone else to rub it on!).

Let me know if it works.

Bugs and life wisdom

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

If you're human and it's a bug day, maybe you should stay in bed and read a good book. If it's a windshield day, go out and conquer the world. Make as much progress as you can while you have the drive. And file the memory of that day away as how you always want and expect your days to be - and keep reminding yourself of it.
If you're really a bug...

Well I guess you're buggered!